Body Count

The ways several of our rodentine friends have been dispatched as of late:

#1: Euthanized with a shovel blade.
Cause of death: duh.

#2: Trapped in the waistband of my pants for over two hours.
Cause of death: asphyxiation by Dockers.

#3: Found on the landing, situated equidistant from both cats (both of whom, incidentally, wore very smug expressions on their kitty faces).
Cause of death: heart attack after thinking to itself, "OH MY GOD, I'M IN A HOUSE WITH TWO CATS!!!!!"

#4: Died in my gloved hands while feeding it today.
Cause of death: heart attack after thinking to itself, 'OH MY GOD, HE'S GOING TO PUT ME IN HIS PANTS!"

#5: (Survivor). Located late last night when we heard the cats growling downstairs. Came down to find Pickett with the rear end of a mouse dangling from his mouth. Instinctively grabbed him to carry him to the bathroom, and the mouse dropped out... and ran to the laundry room. We spent ten minutes trying to convince both Pickett and Melly that the friggin' thing was in the laundry room, not where he'd dropped it out in the kitchen. I managed to catch it (it was hiding, no joke, in a pile of cat toys designed to look like mice. He was just sitting there, apparently trying to blend in... I couldn't help but think of that scene in E.T. where the alien hides in the kid's closet among all the toys, and the doofus mom doesn't even notice this super-intelligent off-world sentient being among all the GI Joes, Barbies and Boba Fetts).
Current disposition: hanging out in the mouse singles bar in the field by the old Belltower Brewery, if he hasn't become hawk food yet.

#6 Remember how we thought we saw the mommy mouse in the garage? And remember how I went out and bought "humane" mousetraps, so that I might catch her and return her to her babies? When I found the carcass of #3 above, I figured that was her. When I freed #5, I thought that might've been her, too. Sooooo... tonight, I was taking out the garbage, and happened to check the traps, and noticed one of them closed. No big deal - one of the girls had probably knocked against the recycling bins and set it off.

Um, no.

I'm glad I don't believe in karmic retribution, because if I did, I'd surely be in for it for this one. #6's cause of death was starvation. Because I neglected to check the traps. This thing was out there in my garage, squeaking for dear life, with no one to hear its piteous cries.

Granted, though, the little freak managed to eat a big ol' dab of peanut butter before shuffling off this mortal coil. And more, too - he (she? Is this the long-lost and lamented mommy mouse?) managed to eat the p.b. out of the other trap without setting it off, which is pretty bloody amazing, considering the design is basically a hair trigger that closes the door when there is the slightest weight detected on the bait end of the trap. Unreal little buggers.

The remaining mice (there are six of them now) all have their eyes open, and they are eating solid food. The girls (who have been delighted with this entire process) are going to come out to school with me to release them. We'll probably do that tomorrow or Saturday.

Sheesh, I'm sick of writing about mice.