Poor reflection

It wouldn't be our adoption saga without the requisite heart-ripping drama.

For the sake of the baby, I won't go into much detail, other than to say we'd really appreciate it if anyone out there would please pray for us, for the baby, and for the birth parents especially, both of whom seem to be driven by forces other than an overwhelming concern for the well-being of the child.

That's all I can say. I want to say "we can't go through this again," but we are. God has seen fit to have this happen in exactly this way.

I really don't want to have to take down another set of ultrasound photos from my blog. I really really really really really don't.

Granted, once my pity party is over, I have to acknowledge that, well, things sometimes just happen, things that are the consequence of living in a fallen world. A couple at church recently lost their baby who was nearly two months old - SIDS, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, a phrase which strikes fear in the heart of every parent (or would-be parent). That couple had a normal pregnancy, normal ultrasounds, a normal birth, and didn't have to sit on pins and needles hoping not to piss off the owner of the womb, thereby losing the child. The baby came home, grew, slept, ate...and died.

So, no. Our situation is not like that. I look at what they are facing and think that I could never go through that.

Yet people do all the time.

Even Christians.

I comforted myself at one point in this process by thinking that this adoption must go through, because it would be, in my estimation, cruel of God to bring us this far only to have it all fall apart in the final months.

Or in the final 48 hours that the birth mom legally has to rescind the adoption.

I know now that that particular platitude is essentially worthless, that, regardless of how this all turns out, God is not cruel nor unjust.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
Saint Paul
I Corinthians 13:12