Change is in the Wind

So sorry to announce this in this manner, but I know a number of people I love and respect deeply do read this blog, and I figure it's probably a good place to let people know what's going on with me and Katrina.

Well, straight to the point: we've decided to walk away from the adoption situation I announced a few weeks ago.

We have spent untold amounts of time in prayer in the last month, and we both felt the Lord's leading to step away from this. If you want the gory details, please feel free to e-mail me, as I don't really care to go into all of it in this public of a forum. However, I don't mind discussing it, though, if y'all really want to know.

But, y'know, it's not a bad thing.

The two of us have experienced more spiritual growth this past summer, and especially this past month, than we have at any other time in our marriage. I can say with confidence that where we are in our individual and corporate relationships with God are nowhere near where they were even six months ago. I have seen God's hand in this, in things small and large, all along. (I guess God is always working in our lives - it's only when we're running in tandem with His will that we tend to see it more).

One of the things that led us to this decision was a substantial lack of peace in our spirits over the whole adoption. Katrina was having nightmares on a nightly basis, and I began to develop skin rashes (a sure sign of stress in my life). Plus, the situation was truly a roller coaster: one day everything would be fine, the next, things seemed precarious, the next day back to fine again. Again, as I said before, I can share all the details with anyone who would like me to either via email or over the phone.

One pretty amazing, and I mean amazing, thing I will share here publicly (and I share this hoping this will serve as an encouragement to the body - I beg forgiveness in advance if by telling it I sound Pharasaical - I take no personal pride in what happened here, and, like Paul, can boast only in the Lord):

We had given T. a certain amount of money towards the adoption. When we reached a point a couple weeks ago when I believed things were coming to a close, I was speaking with our lawyer, and was able to tell her honestly that I really didn't care about the money, that it was God's money, really, and that I was just glad to have been able to help out a single mother in a bad situation with some cash. I literally had given it up, you know? I wasn't worried about it, I truly was able to part ways with it, knowing it had gone for a good purpose.

Can you guess what happened that very night?


I got an e-mail from one of my brothers in California.


Seems he'd gotten something in the mail that day.


Something about an insurance policy of my father's.


A policy we knew nothing about.


A policy the executor of my dad's estate never mentioned.


A policy that, when split into thirds, completely covered the total amount of money we'd given to T.

So, extremely long story short, we're in the position of starting over, with no net loss for having tried to work out this adoption with T.


The starting over is the next change in the wind, which is for the next post.